So, after 5 years deployment free (although, of course, not Chris-being-gone-free), the deployment we knew was coming since we moved here had finally arrived. How could we let this awesome hunk go? Well, it was rought, but first we did a few last Hurrah's before he left - one final beach day, one final date at a cozy little restaurant, and one final Nerf War while the kids school was cancelled for Hurricane Isaac. (Um, yeah, we turned our house into a tank for that thing, but it never really ended up coming our way. Better safe than sorry though, right? :)>) Oh, and Chris and I watched a whole lot of Psych and ate a whole lot of ice cream and brownies for stress release. (. . . and Rice Krispie Treats and Pumpkin Pie and cookies and . . . Chris was totally guilt tripping the girls [Aly] to make him a ton of goodies because he wasn't going to get them for almost a year. It worked.)
The second question: How are you doing? Well, while Chris is overseas defending our freedoms and fighting the war on terror, I've got my own battles to fight, namely Stress vs. Serene, Service vs. Self-Pity, and Gratitude vs. Complaining.
I have been told that I handle large amounts of stress very well. Be that as it may, there is something to be said for having some down time. I had been feeling that since we've moved here I have stayed in an almost constant amped up state of stress, which was negatively affecting my mothering. So, as this deployment got closer and I was thinking about being a single parent full time, I decided to try to destress my life as much as possible so that I could be a calm, kind, fun mom to my girls. Now, it's kind of hard to destress a whole bunch with 4 kids, especially with soccer, activity days, homework, etc. But 3 of them were going to be in school all day, so I decided not to volunteer at the school this year and just have the days with Kylie to go to the gym, library story time, and playgroup, so that when everybody got home and the craziness started, I was ready to focus on them and meet their needs and not already be frazzled from a full day. So far it has worked out pretty well.
You know, it's pretty easy to indulge in Self-Pity, especially when everyone is feeling sorry for you and expressing how hard your life must be. When I start feeling myself headed that way, I pray and ask that I may find someone - anyone - to lift, reach out to, or fulfill a need in some small way. It's amazing the healing that comes by helping someone else. Just through a card, or a hug, or a meal, or talking to someone who's sitting alone, or watching young children. It is so uplifting to feel that I am able to give, rather than feeling empty and in need.
And finally, Gratitude vs. Complaining. Negativity seems to be one of my greatest enemies and one of the hardest to overcome once I start down that road. First of all, I decided to re-read "The Hiding Place", by Corrie Ten Boom. I figured if anything could help me focus on seeing the Lord's Hand in my life despite, and maybe because of, the hard things in my life, then that was it. It was time well spent. Secondly, in my e-mails to Chris, I decided to start a Gratitude Journal of sorts, as a means of letting him know what we are doing. That idea came to me through pure inspiration, let me tell you. I never realized the power to be found in gratitude. It is so much more than having a good attitude. For instance, rather than saying to Chris, "Aly watched the girls while I went to the Relief Society Broadcast", it is so much more powerful to say, "I am grateful to have a daughter who is responsible, willing to babysit her sisters, take care of dinner, and get everyone to bed, so that I can attend the Relief Society Broadcast." If you want to see the small miracles that happen in your life every day and gain a true sense of how much your Heavenly Father truly loves you and abundantly blesses you, I would highly recommend starting a gratitude journal. As I've expressed gratitude and appreciation for so, so many things in my life, I have been lifted and filled with joy. It has helped me to have a deeper love for my children and Chris, as well as extended family and others I come in contact with every day. It is so much easier to see things from an eternal perspective and just be - happy.
Here are a few of the things I have found to be grateful for during this deployment:
* For girls who like having their mom around and will joke, laugh, and dance with me.
*For a Father who has inspired his girls to read the scriptures every day. It has been wonderful to see them reading in their beds without being reminded. (Chris challenged Aly and Analise to read their scriptures every day while he’s gone and he would do the same. Then, if everybody did it, he’d take them to Big Kahuna’s water park when he got back.)
*For an awesome husband who makes me feel loved.
*For Family Prayer ½ way around the world
*For the knowledge that gratitude is a way to live and has little to do with how much you have.
So, if you wanted to know how we're doing, that's how we're doing. (Maybe a little more than you wanted to know.) Overall, I'd say we're doing pretty well. We're fighting out daily battles and will continue to do so. We've done this before and we'll do it again. And we know we'll get through with the help of our Savior, who will make all things for our good, if we trust in Him. "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; . . . For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things whichare not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18)
Before we sent Chris on his way, we also added a new member to the family: Flat Dad. At the pre-deployment briefing for the kids they had us trace Chris on a huge roll of paper so we could "take him around with us" while he's gone. I wasn't all about carrying around a 6' piece of paper, but I did print out a picture of his face that fit nicely on the head and figured it would make for a good conversation piece for any and all who come to visit our home and a security system if anyone was trying to break in. (Ha, ha.)
Actually we have gotten quite a bit of use out of Flat Dad. The girls will talk to him and he's good for giving hugs. We've decided to turn him into a collage of things that happen during this school year.
Before Chris left we also gave the girls their Build-a-Bears and Chris gave each of us a priesthood blessing. What a service to our family. I am so grateful that Chris honors his priesthood so that he can bless us to feel strengthened and comforted while he is away.
And now to answer to two questions I get asked all the time now. How is Chris doing? Well, he's stressed, busy, and tired. (He's in a war zone, ya know?) It's plenty busy over there and Chris has got crazy insane hours, getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night, and it appears that is to be the norm. I think he's amazing just to be functioning. He's putting one foot in front of the other and doing everything he can to keep his guys safe, despite being bone tired all the time. And for that he is my hero. Perks for this deployment are that he has his own room, he's able to Skype with me sometimes and the family every Sunday, and we also get to communicate through e-mail.
I have been told that I handle large amounts of stress very well. Be that as it may, there is something to be said for having some down time. I had been feeling that since we've moved here I have stayed in an almost constant amped up state of stress, which was negatively affecting my mothering. So, as this deployment got closer and I was thinking about being a single parent full time, I decided to try to destress my life as much as possible so that I could be a calm, kind, fun mom to my girls. Now, it's kind of hard to destress a whole bunch with 4 kids, especially with soccer, activity days, homework, etc. But 3 of them were going to be in school all day, so I decided not to volunteer at the school this year and just have the days with Kylie to go to the gym, library story time, and playgroup, so that when everybody got home and the craziness started, I was ready to focus on them and meet their needs and not already be frazzled from a full day. So far it has worked out pretty well.
You know, it's pretty easy to indulge in Self-Pity, especially when everyone is feeling sorry for you and expressing how hard your life must be. When I start feeling myself headed that way, I pray and ask that I may find someone - anyone - to lift, reach out to, or fulfill a need in some small way. It's amazing the healing that comes by helping someone else. Just through a card, or a hug, or a meal, or talking to someone who's sitting alone, or watching young children. It is so uplifting to feel that I am able to give, rather than feeling empty and in need.
And finally, Gratitude vs. Complaining. Negativity seems to be one of my greatest enemies and one of the hardest to overcome once I start down that road. First of all, I decided to re-read "The Hiding Place", by Corrie Ten Boom. I figured if anything could help me focus on seeing the Lord's Hand in my life despite, and maybe because of, the hard things in my life, then that was it. It was time well spent. Secondly, in my e-mails to Chris, I decided to start a Gratitude Journal of sorts, as a means of letting him know what we are doing. That idea came to me through pure inspiration, let me tell you. I never realized the power to be found in gratitude. It is so much more than having a good attitude. For instance, rather than saying to Chris, "Aly watched the girls while I went to the Relief Society Broadcast", it is so much more powerful to say, "I am grateful to have a daughter who is responsible, willing to babysit her sisters, take care of dinner, and get everyone to bed, so that I can attend the Relief Society Broadcast." If you want to see the small miracles that happen in your life every day and gain a true sense of how much your Heavenly Father truly loves you and abundantly blesses you, I would highly recommend starting a gratitude journal. As I've expressed gratitude and appreciation for so, so many things in my life, I have been lifted and filled with joy. It has helped me to have a deeper love for my children and Chris, as well as extended family and others I come in contact with every day. It is so much easier to see things from an eternal perspective and just be - happy.
Here are a few of the things I have found to be grateful for during this deployment:
* For girls who like having their mom around and will joke, laugh, and dance with me.
*For a Father who has inspired his girls to read the scriptures every day. It has been wonderful to see them reading in their beds without being reminded. (Chris challenged Aly and Analise to read their scriptures every day while he’s gone and he would do the same. Then, if everybody did it, he’d take them to Big Kahuna’s water park when he got back.)
*For an awesome husband who makes me feel loved.
*For Family Prayer ½ way around the world
*For the knowledge that gratitude is a way to live and has little to do with how much you have.
So, if you wanted to know how we're doing, that's how we're doing. (Maybe a little more than you wanted to know.) Overall, I'd say we're doing pretty well. We're fighting out daily battles and will continue to do so. We've done this before and we'll do it again. And we know we'll get through with the help of our Savior, who will make all things for our good, if we trust in Him. "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; . . . For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things whichare not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18)
